The Reverse Cowgirl Diaries #5: Indecent Proposal
Plus: Tinder for prisoners
Welcome to The Reverse Cowgirl Diaries, a behind-the-scenes look at my life as a sex writer and all the weird shit that entails. From my recent sexplorations to my current obsessions, this weekly newsletter takes you into the mind of someone who has seen too many porn movies. In RCD #5: I get obsessed with inmates who are looking for love, you can read the first paragraph of my porn novel-in-progress, and what happened when a guy offered me thousands of dollars to promote a sex-related company.
All the Sex News That's Fit to Publish
I haven’t published any sex-related stories recently, but I have a short piece coming out in The Los Angeles Times in the next couple weeks, and that is sex related, indeed. It’s also true, and it has to do with living in Los Angeles, and what it’s like to date here. In other words, it’s totally insane, which pretty much sums up L.A.
Recent Perversions
For some reason, the Instagram algorithm fed me a post yesterday from one of the most fascinating accounts I’ve encountered. Suffice to say, I spent the next hour perusing it. What is it? It is Idaho Inmate Penpal. Basically, it’s like video Tinder for prisoners in Idaho, I guess? The inmates (mostly men, a few women) post approximately 30-second videos about themselves and what they’re looking for: a pen pal, a girlfriend, a forever lover. The posts’ captions feature the inmates’ full names and offenses for which they are incarcerated, which range from the banal possession to the terrifying murder to the avoid-avoid-avoid-inspiring domestic violence. In any case, it’s an interesting peek at love and lust behind bars. (I should add, the comments are off the chain and half of the draw, so don’t miss those.)
In Medias Sexus
As you may or may not know, I’m writing a novel set in the porn industry. The main character is a male porn star, one I wrote about previously in a short story.
Here’s the first paragraph:
When Tripp Towers awoke on Friday morning, it was still dark outside. Soon, the alarm on his mobile phone would sound, playing the “Eye of the Tiger” ringtone. The time was around five-thirty, he imagined. He closed his eyes, willing himself back to sleep, but his mind propelled itself towards that evening. That night, he would be on the set of the porn movie in which he had been cast as the male lead. If the shoot ran long, he wouldn’t perform until the early morning hours of tomorrow. All eyes would be on him. He couldn’t screw it up.
Dirty Pitches
A week ago, I received an email through the contact form on my personal website. The email’s subject header read: “5,000 USD for [Redacted] Link.” The sender, a male individual, was offering me $5,000 to add a link to a company in a Forbes.com post I had written years ago in which I had mentioned the company. As both a journalist and a long time contributor to Forbes.com, I was aware this exchange of linking for payment would be unethical and is prohibited by Forbes.com.
According to Forbes Contributor Guidelines:
“You must not create content for self-promotion or trading on or profiting from that content and/or your association with Forbes. For clarity, you cannot accept pay from individuals, organizations or companies to write about them or their clients on Forbes.”
In fact, this wasn’t the first time I had received an email like this one from someone trying to pay me to place a story about their company on Forbes.com or add a link to their company to a story I had written on Forbes.com; it happens. So, I did what I always do when I get email like this one, asking me to do something I wasn’t going to do: I didn’t respond. Two days later, the same individual who had emailed me followed me on Instagram. (I didn’t follow him back.) Not long after, he sent me a direct message, reiterating his proposal. This time, I declined directly, noting Forbes.com prohibits what he was proposing. (Even if Forbes didn’t prohibit it, I wouldn’t have done it, because it’s unethical.) Did I want more money? he responded. If I agreed to his proposal, he suggested, I could invoice him for “‘consulting service.’” No thanks, I replied. Okay, he responded, adding a downcast emoji. So it went, him prodding, me declining.
Upping the ante, he offered me $10,000. No thanks, I responded, again. No one would know, he pointed out. Just me and him! he emphasized. He increased his offer to $15,000. By this point, I knew the person I was dealing with wouldn’t take no for an answer and had outed himself as a weak negotiator, by committing the ultimate negotiation crime of negotiating against himself. I stopped responding.
He sent a couple more messages, sounding frustrated and irate.
I didn’t reply. Eventually, I blocked him.
What I’m Obsessed With
All hail the return of ‘90s supermodel Carré Otis in this Dolce & Gabbana campaign.
Quickies
Inka Winter grew up in a sex cult; now she’s a porn director
Sex workers are moms, too
Matthew Ball breaks down the economics of OnlyFans
This season of Emily in Paris features a story line in Crazy Horse Paris
Porn star and author Asa Akira walked in New York Fashion Week
I’m a huge fan of artist Dave Cooper and this Eve sculpture is so cool
One of those MomTok Mormons got a labiaplasty and showed it to her friends
Welcome to the museum. Now take off your clothes.
A gay James Bond? Sure, why not?
Taylor Momsen bares it all (almost)
From the Archives
Over on my blog, I republished a Forbes post from July 2018 about the future of sex doll brothels. My take: Sex doll brothels won’t be replacing human brothels anytime soon.
After all, a brothel never really sells sex. It sells an experience, one that is largely rooted in the sensory. Interacting with a living, breathing human being is one thing. Engaging with a silicone doll with an internal heater is quite another.
That's all for now! If you enjoy this newsletter, subscribe, like, and share it.
xox
The Reverse Cowgirl
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