The Man Who Talked to His Penis
And other tales
Old sex bombs never die
Last Saturday I had lunch at The Smoke House Restaurant in Burbank. Tommy Lee walked in and sat down at a booth that was right across from where I was sitting. While I enjoyed my filet mignon, I was distracted by the thought of Tommy talking to his own penis.
The following day, I went to a living estate sale in Valley Village for Lainie Kazan. You may recognize her from “My Big Fat Greek Wedding,” or perhaps you recall the time she posed for Playboy in 1970. According to Playboy, “She is perhaps the only woman in the world to have enjoyed intimate relationships with both Frank Sinatra and [Bob] Dylan.” Hats off to you, Lainie.
Here’s an interview with me talking about my sexpert career, including when I used to be on Playboy TV’s “Sexcetera”: “Each segment we did was about eight minutes, which I seem to recall one of the executive producers saying was how long it took for the presumably male viewer to jack off to it. I described my job as ‘talking to the camera while people fuck behind me.’”
Porn in the courts: “A Los Angeles judge on Tuesday declared that porn performer Ron Jeremy is mentally incompetent to stand trial on dozens of rape and sexual assault counts.”
Do you follow Clayton Cubitt on Twitter? You should.
I can’t believe I missed this $100 candle that smells like penis.
IYKYK. Mark Handel is the worst pornographer in the world, and now he’s in big trouble with the Department of Justice. Let’s see how this shakes out.
Actress, model, etc. Cara Delevingne is going to “Sex Planet” care of Hulu. She will attend a women-only sex party, become a man by way of virtual reality, and have her sexual fantasies turned into a female-gaze centered porn movie.
If you like AI art and fetish and a girl in a gas mask, this is for you.
I was thinking of doing a story in which I drive around to the last remaining adult theaters in Los Angeles and recount my experiences. I should get on that. If I wait too long, they’ll all be gone. Sticky floors and masturbators await me.
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