Mr. Chow, Jamie Foxx, and a Penis Laser

An exclusive interview with the young masterminds behind the Dick Lazer

Image credit: Dick Lazers

It all started with a penis laser. Or a Dick Lazer, to be exact. On December 14, TMZ reported that actor Jamie Foxx had been involved in a dispute at the upscale Beverly Hills restaurant Mr. Chow. Purportedly, Foxx had been out with his family enjoying a birthday celebration when another dinner party aimed a phallic laser pointer at him; in other words, instead of beaming a red dot, this laser pointer beamed a laser beam in the shape of a penis at him. Reportedly, Foxx got upset and confronted the other party, which turned out to be comprised of Jackass-related individuals. A glass was allegedly thrown, police were called, and Foxx ended up requiring stitches.

Lost in the kerfuffle were answers to several important questions: What is this penis-themed laser pointer? Who created it? And how can I get my hands on one? In this edition of The Reverse Cowgirl Interview, I talk exclusively with the young men who created the Dick Lazer at the center of this penis-themed throwdown.

The Reverse Cowgirl: How did you come up with the idea for Dick Lazers?

Dick Lazers: Dick Lazers was founded by a couple of regular guys who think dicks are funny. Back in the day—like, middle school—all the funny kids aimed laser pointers at their teachers and other kids. They also drew dicks everywhere and figured out ways to put dicks on other kids with tape, glue, or anything sticky. We were those funny kids. And when we got older and wiser, we figured out a way to marry the laser pointer and the dick. Thus, the Dick Lazer was born.

Image credit: Dick Lazers

TRC: What's the purpose of the naughty lasers and what are the different options?

Lazers: The Naughty Lazer is a combo Lazer. It features a penis, breasts, a butt, lips, and a naked lady. The purpose of all of our Lazers is to have fun and create laughter. Now, a certain kind of person likes to do naughty things with the Lazers—like take two of them and emulate sexy time. That's cool too: put on a whole-ass light show if you want. As long as people are having fun and being safe, it is all good.

TRC: How are sales of the Dick Lazer?

Lazers: Dick Lazers are selling like hotcakes. People think they're hilarious. Name a better birthday present. Or bachelorette party favor. Or housewarming present for your mother-in-law. The Naughty Lazer is our second bestseller followed by the BOOB Lazer. We also have some hilarious naughty merch, but we have not pushed our merch in the market too hard yet. We’re focused on our Lazers for now.

TRC: What did you think when you heard a Dick Lazer was purportedly involved in the Jaime Foxx incident? Is the Dick Lazer the only penis laser on the market and was it the one used in the incident?

Lazers: Okay, yes. We sold the Jackass guys a bunch of Dick Lazers for their Christmas party. As soon as we heard the Jamie Foxx news, we put two and two together. And we should have probably expected it. Jackass guys are going to Jackass. We are the only “penis projector pen” on the market; so, yes, it was our Dick Lazers—but the media got the name wrong. TMZ, BET, WorldStarHipHop, The Breakfast Club ... the list goes on. They all reported this “penis projector pen,” which was indeed our Dick Lazer. We had a pretty hot sales day after the incident. But let us be clear: Dick Lazers are a gag gift and not intended for use on Jamie Foxx.

Image credit: Dick Lazers

TRC: Your website states: "NEVER point your laser at any other person or at an animal." But you have to know that people will aim it at other people, right?

Lazers: Or airplanes. Or helicopters. Or cars. Look, they’re lasers, okay? Anything you wouldn’t do with a laser, don’t do with a Dick Lazer. We take safety quite seriously. We have an entire safety page on our website dedicated to ensuring that people use their Lazers safely. We do not want anyone to be injured physically, mentally, emotionally, or otherwise. That’s not fun.

Dick Lazers are meant to bring joy and unity to the world. Laughter and smiles. Again—and we can’t stress this enough—great power comes with great responsibility.

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