Meet a Guy Who's Made a Career Out of Being Sex Industry Adjacent

He's ... near sex for work

Daniel Shar is the actor who was in that porn movie you saw—but he’s the one who kept his clothes on and didn’t have sex with anybody. A comedy writer, actor, and now star of his very own one-man show, Near Sex for Work, Shar has found success by being sex work adjacent. In this week’s The Reverse Cowgirl Interview, he shares how he got his start working in an adult toy store as a virgin, what it’s like to hang around on adult movie sets to perform non-nude in non-sex roles, and how it felt to be nominated for two awards at this year’s so-called “Oscars of porn.”

The Reverse Cowgirl: Your journey into non-sex sex work started when you got a job at an adult store as a virgin. How did that happen?

Daniel Shar: I was living in Chicago, writing and performing comedy all the time—mostly about the fact that I was a clueless virgin. I was also constantly on Craigslist searching for survival gigs, so when I stumbled upon an ad for an adult toy store, I thought it would be funny to submit a cover letter about my minimal retail experience and non-existent sexual experience. This endeared me to the manager so much that I ended up working there for almost four years, losing my virginity about halfway through. I never felt capable there, but I enjoyed the job, largely because I worked a lot of weekday morning shifts, which meant I rarely had customers and would often get paid to just sit and write comedy in a room full of sex toys.

TRC: What are some of the sex work-adjacent jobs you’ve had? Which was the hardest and which was the easiest?

Shar: After leaving the sex shop, I kept finding Craigslist ads I thought would be funny to pursue, which led to me writing a porn scene, consulting on a TV pilot about the sex industry, acting in a Brazzers commercial, creating audio porn, running women’s OnlyFans accounts for them, and now playing non-nude non-sex side characters in adult films.

The hardest of those was OnlyFans account management, which gave me the smallest taste of what it’s like to be a woman on the internet. Harrowing. It didn’t take long for me to get desensitized to seeing all the subscribers’ dicks, but I never really learned to tolerate the subscribers being dicks. I couldn’t stand the entitlement and disrespect that an unfortunately high percentage of those guys displayed. Truly a nightmare.

The easiest and best job I’ve had is doing non-sex extra work in porn. Some shoot days can get pretty long and complicated, but more often than not, my work consists of hanging out with talented people until they’re ready for me to toss out whatever jokes I come up with while pretending not to notice or care for the fact that sex is happening nearby. Truly a dream.

TRC: You set out to be a journalist. What have you observed about the adult movie industry behind the scenes?

This could very well be a skewed observation that is only true of the types of sets I’m lucky enough to be on—where top and mid-tier studios are making narrative content—but basically everyone I’ve worked with in porn—on and off camera—seems to love their jobs and the industry as a whole. I can’t say the same for any other job I’ve ever had, sex-adjacent or not.

TRC: What made you decide to turn these experiences into a live one-man show?

When my first porn scene came out, I put together a live screening for about 30 people. I sped up and censored the sex scenes, and I had one of my funniest friends interview me and moderate a Q&A. We called it “Inside The Pornography Side Character Actors Studio,” and I initially planned to play it like a pretentious jackass. Once we were in it though, I found that everybody, including me, was having way more fun when I was being honest and sincere. The laughs and reactions from those moments, and the screening itself, were unlike any I had ever experienced in my decades of doing comedy, so I felt like I was onto something exciting, and I wanted to go deeper.

The result is this live solo show, Near Sex For Work, which is easily the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done. The response has been incredible, as I’ve repeatedly been told that the show exceeds audience expectations by being funnier and more comedically layered than anyone could have imagined, and by having more narrative twists and emotional depth than anyone anticipates. I’m uncharacteristically proud of the show, and I would strongly encourage everyone reading this to come see Near Sex For Work whenever I bring it to the nearest city.

TRC: You were nominated for two awards at the AVN Awards but won neither. Did you attend the awards show?

Shar: I did attend AVN as a nominee for Mainstream Venture of The Year, for Near Sex For Work, and Best Non-Sex Performance, for my role as an incel OBGYN in the Adult Time feature Birth. I was sad I lost, but I’m still laughing at the fact that I came anywhere close to winning a porn award or two without ever getting naked on camera, and I do think it would be even funnier if I could actually bring home a trophy next time, so I guess this is the start of me campaigning for 2026.

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